Employer Idiots

Some people do not understand how to be employers.

Good employers give you plenty of time to be prepared. They do not call you and ask you to come in immediately. Especially employers that are looking for a freelancer like me.

I was asked if I could go to a fair in my area today. Uhhhh. Why didn't you ask me yesterday so that I could be prepared.

I was asked if I could go right away. Granted, this is for someone that hasn't given me a cent, nor offered me a cent. Which means I'm not all that inclined to drop everything and obey.
Now, I realize that sometimes you have to put in your due. But, it is never up to the employee to begin talks about money. It is always up to the employer to at least begin the conversation.

It can be simple, something like, "what are you expecting financially from this gig."

It can be something intense like "I'm giving you $50 for every story."

It should never be nothing. When you don't get paid, that's called volunteer work. That's great to put on a resume if you're I don't know, 16 years old.

People are not looking to volunteer if they are not over the age of 65. Baby boomers can be volunteers. New college graduates, well, not so much.

Honestly, I cannot wait to be on the other side of the hiring table. I'm going to make it a great experience for the candidate. I'm going to want them all to want to work for me. That way, I can actually hire someone who's excited.

Well, either that or I can send them to Central America to do some work at a church or dormitory.

At least then they can put it on their college application.

But people need money right now. Offering to not pay isn't going to give you a good employee. It'll give you one that resents you.

(How about that game! Thanks Google images!)

Don't Pay For A Job

Now you should never put all your eggs in one basket.

That's why even though I have a probable job on Wednesday, I have also applied to the IRS.
Yes, the IRS. Got a job? Just call the IRS. Got a job...

Love that commercial.

On Saturday afternoon I received a call from H&R Block. Here's how the conversation went. Also, I'd like to mention that they again called me on a Saturday. During lunchtime. Regardless...
Oh, and the lady had one of those "accents" where she was trying to be ghetto but still professional. But it comes off as ghetto.

Them: Hi, this is H&R Block and we received an application and were wondering if you were still interested.

Me: Yes, I think I still am interested.

Them: Do you have any tax-preparation experience?

Me: No, I do not. (When I was saying this, I was thinking, "I have experience paying taxes...")

Them: We have a class starting this Monday for tax-preparation specialists. Would you be interested in signing up for this three-day class for a one-time fee or $99?

Me: No, I don't think so.

Them: Well sir, you need the classes if you want a job.

Me: I don't think that I should have to pay to get a job.

Them: Ok, bye sir.

Me: Later sucka.

Ok, well maybe I didn't say "Later sucka," but I felt like it. So here's my advice for today. Never get convinced that you should ever have to pay for a job.

The whole idea behind a job is that they pay you.

Not the other way around.

WaMuuMuu

I have an interview for next Wednesday.

It's with a newspaper in a town about 20-30 minutes away.
I know that originally I have said that I did not want to do journalism, even though I graduated with that degree. However, I have come to realize that in this economy, you have to get a job and then ride out this bad stretch.

I would estimate that this bad stretch will continue for at least one or two more years.
And clearly, the $1.50 that I've earned this month writing this blog is not going to be paying any bills. On the upside, I have had almost 500 hits. Google told me.

So, even though I did not want to get into journalism, I am going to give it another chance. Don't get me wrong, I like journalism, but sometimes it can be quite frustrating, such as when a source doesn't call back or when I'm having trouble with a story. That, fortunately, does not happen very often.

And, writing for a newspaper will give me the opportunity to continue writing, which is something I like to do. I'm planning on writing a variety of things. I've held off writing for myself (other than this blog, but hey, it's for you after all) since I've been searching for a job.

It's funny because after two months of searching I'm closest to having a job through doing none of the hard work that I've proclaimed. Well, sort of. Networking has worked the best. It's hard for me to say it.

I look at myself and I know quite a few people. It makes me wonder what people do when they do not know a whole lot of people. Oh, wait. I know what they do. They line up at the unemployment office and take my money.

I once watched a video in one of my classes from the '70s or '80s (well, maybe the '90s) that showed people who scammed the US government into getting welfare. I can't even imagine how many people do that now.

Especially in this economy.



If you try hard enough, eventually you'll catch a break. The odds will slowly be in your favor. It might take two months like it did for me or it might take six months like I heard about for one person. It might take two years.

That would suck big time.

So that's my final advice. (For today?)
Networking will pay dividends. Let people know you are searching for a job.
Don't be afraid to turn down job offers. It might be the greatest thing you ever do.

Oh, and a little anecdote:

I interviewed for this sales position. The guy told me if I wanted the job to call him. I called him a few days later. He didn't answer. I left a message and he called me back a couple days later. I told him I didn't want to take the job.

He acted all cool, saying "oh, well that works out for both of us. I wasn't sure you really wanted to do it." Now, when I was interviewing, he was super pumped to hire me. Like he wanted me to start the next day. But, not wanting to be too pushy he told me to call in the next couple days.

He also told me he wasn't good at sales and all that baloney. Too bad I'm not an idiot. Classic sales technique. (Seriously watch the video connected to "Classic") Always look like the bigger person.

So don't take jobs that you don't want to, just because you need a job.

Millions of people do that.

And now look where we are.

Yet No.

The nice, directed e-mail isn't working. Yet.

Well, it has been only about 15 minutes since I sent one out. But why haven't I heard back from anyone yet? I guess I need patience. You see, job searching takes time. Jobs take time. Time takes jobs. That makes no sense.

Anyway I may have found a free-lancer job. It's with a website, but hey, that's fine with me. As long as I can pull in a little cash, I can be sane. Having no inflow is terribly depressing. Especially when the stock market just blew up with all my money. Ok, not all my money, just a little bit.

But it's not gone yet. I'm hoping that Warren Buffet can save me. Actually, I thought about something new. I might write a letter to my local congressman telling him/her that I'm angry that I can't find a job.

I'm going to hand write it and bitch at my congressman. Sometimes, they actually will do something when people get angry. Now, I don't want you to think that I blame the government that I can't find a job. Believe me, it's not that. The problem really lies more in the fact that there is no economy.

Because of the government. Well, ok, that's only partially true. Regardless, I have been reduced to attempting to find part-time and freelance and low-paying jobs. That's no good.

That shouldn't happen. Of course, I also realize that I didn't probably do the greatest job of networking when I was in college and I should have maybe taken an extra semester or year and done an internship with an actual company, not just my campus newspaper.

I have also realized that I should have tried for a minor. A minor in finance/accounting would have been boring, annoying and I'm sure hard as flip, but I would have had something to fall back on.

Everyone wants accountants right now. I wonder why. Maybe it's because businesses are trying to save as much money as possible.

By not hiring me.

The List From The Job Expo

I went to a job expo today in the downtown convention center of the city where I reside.

It was quite an experience. To lay it straight on you, it was a terrible expo. It was clearly not directed at people of my education level, even though I only have a simplistic Bachelors of Arts.

I saw some things that were completely absurd. So, I will share with you what I saw. In a list. Believe me, you'll want to read this list. I guarantee that you will laugh (or snicker softly) at least once.

Now, before I get to the things I saw, I'd like to explain the flier for this job expo. It had a couple of key job-related info boxes. Key points said:
-Jobs ranging from entry-level to professional
-Dress professionally
-Bring copies of your resume

Now, a couple of the entry-level to professional businesses:
-Girl Scouts (Yes, those cookie people)
-Arby's (Yes the fast food "restaurant")
-Chukchansi Gold Resort and Casino (Gambling, nice)
-U-Haul (I wonder what professional jobs they have...)
-JC Penny (Seasonal jobs, not management or salespeople)
-Holiday Inn (Housekeeper)
-Foot Locker (Take "steps" to build my professional career?)
-Vons, Bed Bath and Beyond, Old Navy, Anchor Blue and Party DJ Party (Whatever the heck that is)
-Finally, my personal favorite, AM PM (Yes, the convenience store)

All they had is minimum-wage jobs and sales positions. They really had no jobs for educated people. I don't mean to be mean. But come on. Are there really people out there looking for a minimum-wage job at AM PM?

Well, here you go. Here's a list of the wonderful things that I saw at the Expo. Remember the directions about dress and resumes.

-Mohawk
-Canadian suit (Yes, complete jeans covering every inch of the person)
-Camo pants (I saw multiple of these. No one wearing them were in the army.)
-T-Shirts
-Plaid Shirts
-Guy walking around playing music from his phone
-So many polo shirts without any buttons done
-Skater shoes
-Beanies
-Hella cool gangster gaits (the way they walk)
-People stealing candy from the displays
-People stealing keychains. From the Police display.
-Guys and girls trying to pull off the color purple
-People carrying nothing (no resumes, no pens, nothing)
-Black undershirts (with white collared shirt on top)
-Baggy pants. On suit pants. With a suit.
-Crowding around the Economic Development Department booth. Not only was it the first booth, people seemed to think that they would just give you a job if you stood there long enough.
-Sandals
-Sandals with socks
-Shirt, tie, pants, professional shoes and a backwards hat
-Oakland As' jersey
-San Diego Padres jersey
-No Raiders jerseys
-Raiders tattoos (on sleeveless shirts, notice anything about the spelling in that picture from the link?)
-Woman with mullet (in a wheelchair with a dog)
-Babies (like no more than 2 weeks)
-Children
-Gold chains on the outside of tie

And, my personal favorite:
-Middle-aged Asian man with a hat that said BLACK MEN SCORE

After walking around the booths a few times, checking out the "companies," I literally went and stood off on the side and documented what I witnessed for about eight minutes.

The Expo was a joke. I stayed for an hour and a half.

I shouldn't have wasted money on that. (For parking)
The lesson is this. If you are looking for a professional job, do so at job fairs on your college campus, not at ones put on by the cities. They are ridiculous.

But, you see a lot of interesting things, that's for sure.

I Call War

Tomorrow's a big day. Well, for me.

I'm expecting a call about a job and I have a job fair.
There are two schools of thought that I can think of.

First, you can make a little bit of progress every day. Attrition, so to speak. Finding a job is war. On a side note, I hate comparisons to anything having to do with war. Pro Athletes play games. Children's games. For money. Courage is for war. Not for athletes. Or job blogs, really.

The other school of thought is to make flurries of progress in short amounts of time. That's what I do. Kind of. Mine is sort of a hybrid. Little productive battles win the war. That means I have minutes every day of extreme productivity. That's what I would do.

Prepare for these moments and then strike. Make phone calls, send e-mails and search with all the tools you know.

I have a system. I wake up, do a round of searching. Then I send out e-mails and make phone calls as needed. Then I spend some time thinking about what I'm going to have for lunch. After lunch-dreaming I focus some more. Many companies do not post jobs right in the morning.

Job posters are lazy too. They post them around 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. Right before lunch. By this time I've been thinking about lunch way too much so I'm forced to eat. Then I focus a little more. Then I write this blog. Then this blog inspires me to search some more.

Rant: I really do not like state jobs. They take way too long to apply for and there are deadlines that are usually month(s) away. That's dumb. If a good candidate comes along (like me) then hire them.

Usually every day I try something new. Sometimes it works. Many times it doesn't. But hey, that's ok.

I've got time.

But it's running out. I've got a big day tomorrow.

Why Craig, Why?

Craigslist. Where one man's trash is another man's garbage.
But hey, you can sell it!

There's jobs on craigslist. Actually, it might be where some of my most promising hits have occurred. I applied for this one job, a web design manager last week. As with every job that I apply for, I was under qualified for the position. But hey, they (advisers and such) tell you to just apply anyway. I did. It worked out. Well, sort of. About 10 minutes later I received a call scheduling an interview. I went, it was pretty laid back and a genuine interview. I'm actually still waiting to hear back from them. I called them today and they still hadn't made a decision.

But on to crapslist. (Yep.) Craigslist is also littered with scams. That's why a job-seeker has to be smart on "the list." You should try never to send an e-mail to the craigslist e-mail that is provided. Instead, you have to be smart and look for a specific website or e-mail address that goes straight to the company. Seriously, every e-mail that I send to the craigslist-supplied e-mail gives me an automated response telling me that I have to sign up at some ridiculous website for the position. Then, they never stop e-mailing you with useless "opportunities."

Actually, all you have to do is unsubscribe from the list, which is a requirement (for the automatic e-mail to have) by U.S. Congressional law.

Additionally, when searching for jobs on craigslist, never click on the links that have the little "img" (it means image) next to the title post. Those are scams. They won't work.

Craigslist, however, does have good sorting, and simple text-based posts so pages don't take long to load. I like this. Also good (well decent at least) is indeed.com. That website generates feeds from a variety of different sources. Unfortunately, some of them are dead links or for about the 1 billion heathcare jobs that exist currently. Use the search technique and you can find a few eggs in the rough.

The real question is, what should you do after you send your resume off into cyberspace, or to an e-mail. I read a yahoo job tips post today outlining bad things to do when you send off your resume. Number 8: Wait for them to call you. Then it goes on to explain that you shouldn't wait, you should go after them.

Say I'd like to apply to Comcast. I see that they are not hiring for my specific qualifications. Regardless, I'd like to call them to see if there's something else. Except I can't call. There is no phone number listed to call the local place, which is where I'd like to work. I literally searched for about 20 minutes, and granted, I'm pretty good with the Internet. I know tricks that you would never believe for searching random stuff.

Too bad, because I'd love to work for some of these companies. Some of them would love to have me as an employee, I'd be willing to bet. Pretty much every employer I've ever had has relied on me pretty heavily, which I don't mind one bit. I get bored easily and I like having things to do.

Which might be why I'm so annoyed that I don't have a job.

It Starts With Day 32

I do not have a job.

That is what this blog is about. However, not only will it be about some personal ramblings, I am also going to illustrate through my words the realistic opportunities of job postings on the internet. As much as possible, I am going to update this blog at least on a daily basis. Well, of course I say that now.

Now for some of my wonderful qualifications, because you know, you wouldn't want someone uneducated like this creating a multi-billion dollar company like the one that I'm about to create.

On a side note, I don't think that sarcasm translates as well into print as it does when I speak it.

Here's a quick rundown:
-Raised in California
-Graduated college in May with a degree in print journalism
-Is sarcastic


That's me as a South Park Character.

Really, that's all I can really elaborate on because if I gave you all of my spectacular qualifications at once, you wouldn't need to come back and read tomorrow. Because that's going to happen.

Today, my health insurance that I was covered under while in college from my parents ran out. Earlier today I had to go sign papers to get health insurance. I was technically uninsured for a day and a half.

You might be wondering why I don't have a job. Haven't I done anything? Oh yes, you'd be surprised. You'll also be surprised (or not, because you're in the same boat (aircraft carrier) as me).

Well, here's the deal. Tomorrow I'll look at places like monster.com and yahoo hot jobs and such and we'll examine these effective career-changing entities. Yeah, sarcasm really doesn't translate...

Later...