Employer Idiots

Some people do not understand how to be employers.

Good employers give you plenty of time to be prepared. They do not call you and ask you to come in immediately. Especially employers that are looking for a freelancer like me.

I was asked if I could go to a fair in my area today. Uhhhh. Why didn't you ask me yesterday so that I could be prepared.

I was asked if I could go right away. Granted, this is for someone that hasn't given me a cent, nor offered me a cent. Which means I'm not all that inclined to drop everything and obey.
Now, I realize that sometimes you have to put in your due. But, it is never up to the employee to begin talks about money. It is always up to the employer to at least begin the conversation.

It can be simple, something like, "what are you expecting financially from this gig."

It can be something intense like "I'm giving you $50 for every story."

It should never be nothing. When you don't get paid, that's called volunteer work. That's great to put on a resume if you're I don't know, 16 years old.

People are not looking to volunteer if they are not over the age of 65. Baby boomers can be volunteers. New college graduates, well, not so much.

Honestly, I cannot wait to be on the other side of the hiring table. I'm going to make it a great experience for the candidate. I'm going to want them all to want to work for me. That way, I can actually hire someone who's excited.

Well, either that or I can send them to Central America to do some work at a church or dormitory.

At least then they can put it on their college application.

But people need money right now. Offering to not pay isn't going to give you a good employee. It'll give you one that resents you.

(How about that game! Thanks Google images!)

Don't Pay For A Job

Now you should never put all your eggs in one basket.

That's why even though I have a probable job on Wednesday, I have also applied to the IRS.
Yes, the IRS. Got a job? Just call the IRS. Got a job...

Love that commercial.

On Saturday afternoon I received a call from H&R Block. Here's how the conversation went. Also, I'd like to mention that they again called me on a Saturday. During lunchtime. Regardless...
Oh, and the lady had one of those "accents" where she was trying to be ghetto but still professional. But it comes off as ghetto.

Them: Hi, this is H&R Block and we received an application and were wondering if you were still interested.

Me: Yes, I think I still am interested.

Them: Do you have any tax-preparation experience?

Me: No, I do not. (When I was saying this, I was thinking, "I have experience paying taxes...")

Them: We have a class starting this Monday for tax-preparation specialists. Would you be interested in signing up for this three-day class for a one-time fee or $99?

Me: No, I don't think so.

Them: Well sir, you need the classes if you want a job.

Me: I don't think that I should have to pay to get a job.

Them: Ok, bye sir.

Me: Later sucka.

Ok, well maybe I didn't say "Later sucka," but I felt like it. So here's my advice for today. Never get convinced that you should ever have to pay for a job.

The whole idea behind a job is that they pay you.

Not the other way around.

WaMuuMuu

I have an interview for next Wednesday.

It's with a newspaper in a town about 20-30 minutes away.
I know that originally I have said that I did not want to do journalism, even though I graduated with that degree. However, I have come to realize that in this economy, you have to get a job and then ride out this bad stretch.

I would estimate that this bad stretch will continue for at least one or two more years.
And clearly, the $1.50 that I've earned this month writing this blog is not going to be paying any bills. On the upside, I have had almost 500 hits. Google told me.

So, even though I did not want to get into journalism, I am going to give it another chance. Don't get me wrong, I like journalism, but sometimes it can be quite frustrating, such as when a source doesn't call back or when I'm having trouble with a story. That, fortunately, does not happen very often.

And, writing for a newspaper will give me the opportunity to continue writing, which is something I like to do. I'm planning on writing a variety of things. I've held off writing for myself (other than this blog, but hey, it's for you after all) since I've been searching for a job.

It's funny because after two months of searching I'm closest to having a job through doing none of the hard work that I've proclaimed. Well, sort of. Networking has worked the best. It's hard for me to say it.

I look at myself and I know quite a few people. It makes me wonder what people do when they do not know a whole lot of people. Oh, wait. I know what they do. They line up at the unemployment office and take my money.

I once watched a video in one of my classes from the '70s or '80s (well, maybe the '90s) that showed people who scammed the US government into getting welfare. I can't even imagine how many people do that now.

Especially in this economy.



If you try hard enough, eventually you'll catch a break. The odds will slowly be in your favor. It might take two months like it did for me or it might take six months like I heard about for one person. It might take two years.

That would suck big time.

So that's my final advice. (For today?)
Networking will pay dividends. Let people know you are searching for a job.
Don't be afraid to turn down job offers. It might be the greatest thing you ever do.

Oh, and a little anecdote:

I interviewed for this sales position. The guy told me if I wanted the job to call him. I called him a few days later. He didn't answer. I left a message and he called me back a couple days later. I told him I didn't want to take the job.

He acted all cool, saying "oh, well that works out for both of us. I wasn't sure you really wanted to do it." Now, when I was interviewing, he was super pumped to hire me. Like he wanted me to start the next day. But, not wanting to be too pushy he told me to call in the next couple days.

He also told me he wasn't good at sales and all that baloney. Too bad I'm not an idiot. Classic sales technique. (Seriously watch the video connected to "Classic") Always look like the bigger person.

So don't take jobs that you don't want to, just because you need a job.

Millions of people do that.

And now look where we are.

Are You Annoying? (Employers)

There's a thin line between annoyance and persistence. For me, I don't know what to do when someone won't respond back to me.

Should I call them? Should I send them an e-mail? The real question is though, what do you do if they do not send you an e-mail back or if they do not phone home. Home=you.

It's seriously a bunch of Trix and Lucky Charms that will help. Maybe even some Honey Bunches of Oats.

I tried two techniques yesterday, trying to get a company to respond back to me. I responded to a post that they put on the Internet. It looked perfect for me. Well, perfect, in my mood is really just a job.

They did not respond back to my phone call. I left them a phone message because no one would answer. They had sent me an e-mail telling me that there would be a "hiring presentation" scheduled for today. I was kind of skeptical of the term "presentation," so I did not respond for a week, until yesterday. The e-mail instructed me to RSVP through a phone number. Then, when someone answered the phone, I would be notified of where this presentation was. Only nobody answered.

I called back. Still nothing. I looked up the company website on the Internet. I phoned them in a different way. In a different department. Still nothing. Finally, I sent an e-mail to the publisher/coordinator of the website/publication.

Today I received a phone call back. "We received your e-mail," they told me. Actually the person mentioned it twice. Then she said that they are rescheduling the presentation and that they would call me tomorrow or the next day. Score. They actually seemed excited to speak to me.

So that brings me to today's point. Phone calls can work. But so can e-mail.

E-mails asking/respectfully requesting a phone call can really work. If you word your e-mail right, results will happen.

People have responded much better to me when I send them an e-mail without the "To Whom It May Concern." People also respond better when your e-mail is obviously not generic. If you are copying and pasting, they probably can tell.

On a side note, one of my new favorite websites, consumerist.com can tell you about the US Post Office and their new "up-selling technique." Pretty much USPS will no longer offer the lowest rate to send a package unless you ask for it.

But back to a job. I'm going to dream a little.

Maybe someday, when I get a job and I'm trying to hire someone, I'll be able to explain why their copy and pasted e-mail didn't really strike me as sincere.

For cereal.

Deadline Spam I Am

Lately I've been focusing on specific jobs.

I see job posts and instead of applying to every one, I focus on a select few. However, the job interviews that I have received have been mostly from the "mass" sending that I've done.

I've got a couple jobs that I think that I'd be great for at my Alma mater. Unfortunately, they have late deadline dates, which is annoying. But I've already talked about that.

Sometimes, and I stress sometimes, deadlines are important to wait for. Federal, state and local government jobs have specific polices they must follow. That makes it more difficult to apply for those jobs right out of college.

I also discovered last week that a plead to the bending of the rules does not work--at least in government jobs. They will not bend. They will not break.

How flippin' annoying.

Sometimes the best jobs are the ones you see too late.

The other thing that I've realized is that other people are really quite lazy. While I might be a motivated person (depending on who you talk to of course) I will call people back. When I say things, I mean things.



Other people are not so succinct in their procedures and execution. Patience, attrition and deep breaths help. It's hard to find a job right now.

Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and realize that you have to keep making progress. Don't get down. Even with this financial crisis that has hit us in the United States.

You just have to understand that some people will not call you back. Sometimes you have to give up on people, even after you have a great interview. It's happened to me once. It might happen twice.

It might happen 10 times.

Breaking the Job

I could have a job if I wanted to.

At the interview I went to yesterday, the guy pretty much told me to go think about it, and if I wanted to he would give me a job. I would come in to solidify some things up and then I'd start my training. The only problem is that it's sales. I'd be miserable. I'd rather have a part-time job than a sales job. Plus, I'm a writer, not a salesman. Excuse me, salesperson.

And I've already explained that I'm not a salesman.
I'm somebody who wants to buy, not someone who wants to sell. But, I have realized that I might have to take a part-time or a lower-income job just to get in with someone.

Since I did not have an internship that led (or had even the opportunity to lead into) into a full-time job, I'm a bit SOL.

But that's ok, because I have two interviews tomorrow.
Seriously, this new technique of directly contacting people is working. The trick is this.

If you see a job on craigslist, careerbuilder, monster or yahoo that you like, look for the job posting on that company's website. I know I keep pressing this issue, but it's absolutely true. Unless you have a website that is focused on your profession, it's too tough a market. I saw a statistic somewhere where it listed the amounts of applications that are sent into craigslist for a post.

It was something like around 40. And it was for a specific graphic designing job, not even a "general" job. Now, think about what a regular job poster gets.

That means a couple things. You either have to have a killer resume or a good cover letter. I'm all about the cover letter. I think people/employers can see tons of resumes that are alike.



If you send a cover letter that is direct and focused for the job you are applying for, you can get much better results. When people send resumes saying that they are looking for a job in "business," that doesn't do a whole lot.

Here's three tips:
-Focus the cover letter to EVERY job
-Give a little bit of personality
-Try to add a title recipient

About the personality. You want to give a little bit. Seriously. Just a little sentence here or there that shows that you are a person, not a generic machine that's pumping out letters like these by the tens and tens.
If you add a title recipient, that's even better. Even if you get the gender wrong, it's better than putting "To Whom It May Concern."

People like their names. On the subject of names, check out this website. It'll show you who/where has your last name in the world. It's kinda cool.

One more thing.

Rock Band 2 comes out on Sunday. That said, I might not post on Sunday. Because even in my unemployment, I think that I'm going to find a way to afford it.

It's too much fun.

Work in The Office

I've realized that I might need to do sales.
That sucks, because I'm not a sales-gifted/oriented guy.

I'm no Dwight Schrute, the greatest paper salesman ever at Dunder Mifflin. The Office returns on September 25, just to get you in the know.

When I'm selling people on things that I know I wouldn't want if I were them, I take "no" as an answer very easily.

I'm sure there are great techniques that people have that they could teach me. The problem is, I think that I'd feel like crap if I tricked someone into buying something they really didn't need.

Well, maybe until I got a paycheck. Which is really the only reason that I think that I might have to do sales. You see, sales and health care are about the only opportunities out there.

Which is how I have an interview today. It'll be my second "professional" interview. Here's how I got it.


Since I've been running out of companies, I've taken to finding small companies. The odd thing is, I followed none of my techniques. I sent an e-mail. Where I titled the receiver "Mr." It was not a dude.

Randomly, the owner of the company called me. He acted a little bit angry with me. He was wondering how I'd heard of his company. I could tell he was a bit peeved. However, I was also confused. Why did he call me? He could have ignored me.

I told him about my background and how sometimes advertising and printing companies need proofreaders. He told me that I was confused about what his company does. I was like, "ok, sorry to bother you then, sir." Then I decided to take a chance.

I told him that if there was another opportunity that he was looking for, I'd love to be considered for it. He told me ok. And that he'd like me to come in for an interview. So weird. The owner was almost attacking. I did not get defensive, because hey, he called me.

If anything, it'll give me some interview experience, which will be invaluable in my job search. My last job interview at a website-development company was not the traditional interview that career services advisers try to prepare you for.

But, I will tell you something. Replying and sending resumes to the craigslist-supplied e-mail or the careerbuilder apply functions do not work as well as sending something directly to a company.

I think that many times, companies post on those sites because they are required to by company policies or because HR peeps are lazy.

Slowly, each day I gain just a little bit more knowledge in what to do while searching for a job.

Well, we'll see if it pays off. Literally and figuratively.


UPDATE: I just got an interview at a public television studio in my town for Friday. I sent the e-mail directly to the source...surprise, surprise.

No Animals Today

It turns out, the phone might be the wave of the future.

Since I've been on a binge to use this manta.com service and actually call the companies themselves, I've found out a couple of things.

First, calling can actually save me time from having to send an e-mail. Now, granted, most of the companies that I call just tell me the same thing. They are not hiring. Well that's fine, but at least I know not to send them my valuable resume.
However, get this. Some of the e-mail that I have been sending are not actually getting to their correct recipients. Nobody wants that. Or this.

I called a company today where the HR person said she didn't get my e-mail. That's odd, because she told me the exact right e-mail that I sent it to. But, she told me to call her later this week.

Call, not e-mail. I think that while I've realized that e-mail is really easy and it can get results, person to person can do much more than an e-mail can. Calling somebody, who then asks for you to send your resume does much more than just sending a resume.

Unfortunately, I've realized also that I don't really like calling people. It can be awkward and make me feel self-conscious. I also am not always sure what to say. Regardless, it is a valuable technique.

A gentleman just yesterday said that it was good that I called because no one ever calls to check up. That inspired me. Sort of.

Calling may be tedious and strange and awkward, but hey, at least you can get practice speaking to people on a professional level.

That's what it takes.

Too bad that I'm sort of running out of companies.

Pooper Scooper

Orangutan.

They sit in zoos where they get to eat and climb onto fake trees and then get to throw poop at unwanted visitors who show their teeth.

That's kind of what I do all day, except for the part where I climb on fake trees and throw gross stuff. But if I could have thrown something at this person who I spoke to on the phone, I would have.

So I called this company, which I heard has hired people in my unemployed position before. Now, I did not reach the right person because the person who usually answers calls was out. The guy was very nice and did some good work searching for my resume. It was nice of the dude, who obviously heard the phone ringing and was courteous enough to answer while the doorknob secretary was out.

He told me to call back and ask for this one woman in a half hour. So I did. The receptionist was not nice. Now, believe me, I can be very nice on the phone. I'd be willing to use the word "charming" but I think that would be a little self-centered, even if it is fake nice charming. Plus, the lady did not let me speak to the person who I was trying to reach. Not cool.

So I'll call back tomorrow. Jerk faces.

On a positive note, I did make $40 in the stock market today. That's cool. Oh, and when I said I invested in a company that makes fake blood, I did not mean a special effects company. The fake blood is a chemical compound that is able to be substituted as a synthetic oxygen-cell carrier in an emergency, such as a car crash. Or a (dog vs.) shark attack. Or war. Anyway it's not CSI ketchup. Seriously, watch that last link, it is priceless David Caruso.

On another positive note, I also have a phone interview scheduled for today. I have come to the realization that I might need to take a part-time job to gain some:
-Money
-Experience
-Something to do instead of coming up with dumb comparisons to apes.

So I may need to do that. And, I may just have to put in some time as a lowly person in a company. It's not so bad. If I have a chance to gain more responsibility, most employers have jumped at the opportunity with me.

People can see that I may be a good employee, but they cannot read (on a resume) that I say I am. All they see is limited experience.

Hopefully, my experience will be growing slightly, even if I do have to pay some dues.

Before I go ape-crazy.

Look Out For Manta

The weekend does not mean that the job search stops for me.

It just means I have an excuse to be lazy. It's going to be tough to search for jobs on weekends when I have fantasy football. I mean, how am I supposed to search for jobs when I have useless NFL games to watch.

Regardless, even though I may be slightly lazier on the weekends searching for jobs, it is only because people (that I would want to work for) do not post jobs on the weekends. Unless, of course I want to take up that nursing job that I'm oh so qualified for.

However, I did discover a wonderful new way to search for jobs that I can almost guarantee you do not know about. Here's the trick:

-Go to manta.com

Manta is this website that is all about business. It has some cool features that you can use as resources. But that's not what is cool. It has business profiles. Like tons of them.

What you do is define a country, then a state, then a city. From that you can define an industry. Now, the next step takes some thought. And a whole lot of patience and attrition (yep, attrition) and probably the Internet.

Now, you can also define the searches to give the highest revenue for some of the companies and also other qualities (is that the right word?) such as highest number of employees and so forth. Then, you can find companies in your city.

Companies that do not post on dumb engines like monster, yahoo, indeed, simply hired and yes even that wonderful craigslist.

From there, all you can really gain is the name of the businesses, which you then have to search for on the Internet. But, at least it is a tool that is not traditional and is more focused.

Many of the businesses have their own job section that lists jobs that are not on the feeds. Also, it is then possible to get e-mails directly to people. Like not HR. What a wonderful technique.

At least I think so.